“‘How can you say, “We are wise,
for we have the law of the LORD,”
when actually the lying pen of the scribes
has handled it falsely?
This is a verse a friend of mine recently brought to my attention. I think it poses a very good question, one that has been lingering in my mind for a while now. I am not very good at expressing my feelings. Even though writing usually helps me deal with my feelings, most of the time I have a hard time actually putting my feelings into words.
For those of you who perhaps figured it out from my ‘apology’ post, I have been having a hard time these couple of months. I do not exactly know what to call it, whether it is depression, fatigue or just plain laziness, I really do not know. All I know is that I have been struggling to cope. I found myself more frequently in bed guzzling down a bottle of dry red and having a lot of take out. I think the main reason for my episode of feeling defeated has to do with the fact that I needed answers and I was not getting any.
I have always wanted to be a successful person in life, I wanted to enjoy life and be as happy as can be. However, I found this more and more difficult to do when I could not even figure out what the point to life actually is. Why have I spent the last 14 years and 20 months in school, is life not meant to be lived? I just began to question everything. Although I do not exactly know what triggered it, I do know that the root of it all was the question of religion.
I was raised Christian, and although my parents were not the type to shove religion down my throat, as an adolescent I happily followed suite because Christianity is all I have ever known. During my episode of, depression, or whatever it was, I questioned religion. Particularly Christianity. As a Christian, I personally have not read the Bible back to back like most, I actually have not read the Bible at all. Perhaps I have always questioned its content, or perhaps my parents did not motivate me enough lie other people’s parents. I don’t know why I did not read it, I just did not.
More recently, I found myself looking at the Bible and wondering where it came from and why I am told to believe what is written in it. I found that to be my biggest problem with religion. The idea that we should take what someone has written as truth, without there being any proof thereof. I guess that is the biggest problem with writing. At least these days we are told what is based on real events and what is fictional. However, even from those texts which are allegedly a recollection of reality, we cannot possibly take everything as truth. It is known that it is human nature to spice things up in order to make a book a hit, or autobiography whatever the case may be. My biggest issue was not knowing which version to believe, the Islamic, Buddhist, or Jewish version? We cannot deny that religion is based on similar ideas which have taken on different forms. Which one of these versions is the closest reflection of the actual truth?
Although I am not the most religious person around- I do not go to church much if at all, and I have never read the bible- I do strongly believe in a higher power though. For someone who enjoys reading, one book which I have not yet brought myself to pick up and read is the Bible, and to be completely honest I feel no urgency to do so. I know, for someone who believes in God, the first and only book I should believe in the most is the Bible, but that’s not the case really. I just believe in God, and I am sure all the people involved in writing the Bible did a very good job. Well done to them. I am sure God will tell me all the stories in the Bible when I meet Him one day.